Day 4- A Dark and Stormy Day

It's gray outside and I can't seem to get my mood up. I haven't talked to Jay for 3 days now and I'm suffering from lack of Jay. That must be a disease. Jay-idis or something like that. I'm on top of my homework, but I still worry that I'm missing something. I've just finished a 500 page book in two days. That must be a new record. My emotions are dull however, from reading it and I'm kind of regretting it. I'm cold and my hair isn't cooperating again. Tomorrow I've got to do something about it.

I hope I can get out of this mood. It's messing up the positive attitude I've had for the last few days and I don't think I can afford another recession. I've been changing things like crazy and yet I still can't get rid of some old habits that keep coming back to bite me. I need to turn this page in the book of my life, but I've got glue or something on my hands and I just can't let go. I just want to poor water on the book and start over, but I know that won't be very productive. Time is life (and money).

Now that it's the last term of the year, I know from experience that it will be a struggle to finish out the year. I'm going to need a miracle to help me get through and it better hurry up and come sooner rather than later. Even though I'm not very superstitious, I can see why people are. I'd believe anything right now just to keep my hopes up. Maybe a shooting star, a genie, a leprechaun, anything, will appear to me and grant me wishes. Please?

I lost momentary interest in Jack and Evan in a desperate, all-out attempt to get Jay back. I've been plagued by so many memories of us, the first time we met, the first time he came over to my house, the first time he said my name, so many are good so why are the recent memories bad? I've got to fix that, but right now I'm not sure how.

Can anybody help me out there? I look up at the clouds and give my last plea to the sky. A tiny splotch of blue peeks through the storm clouds. My favorite color. A tiny spark of hope flashes across my green eyes. Sky hasn't given up and neither have I.