Day 3- Some New Players

I've been looking forward to this day all week. An hour alone with Jay before classes. This may not sound like much, but it's harder to find time to spend with Jay than with some of my other friends. I look around anxiously, wondering why he hasn't met up with me yet. Finally I give up. He isn't coming. I head off with some of my other friends and we spend the hour laughing and talking, yet there's a part of me that clings to the hope that Jay will come.

Then I see him. He gives me a quick hug, but leaves shortly thereafter. I can't believe it. Something's up with Jay, I know it. I wonder, is it his family? Perhaps it's another girl. No. I refuse to believe that. I've liked him for more than half a year now and I can't stand the thought of him liking someone else. I mean, we're best friends. You'd think he'd notice me and all the things I do to try to get him to like me. I'm sure he just needs some space. I can't be selfish and claim his soul as mine to control. He has a life away from me and I should respect that. But still... I wonder...

With every new day my mind feels more and more like a chess game. The person I really am, the girl full of potential and greatness, perhaps conspiring to be famous one day, is the king. No matter which techniques and pieces I use, I still can't get to that elusive king. I catch glimpses of him and sometimes I even feel as though I've caught him, but he still manages to escape my clutches. I've used far too many minor pieces in my moves, it's time to pull out the queen. Perhaps her superior power can finally overwhelm the king's protective forces.

As I play this game, trying hard to see the way, I face many opponents. Many are just like the one that came before. Easy to beat and to see through their actions. Yet I've come across some new players recently. A couple in particular have captured my attention. Their names are Jack and Evan and they are like none I've ever seen. Their moves are surprising and pleasant and at last I am enjoying the game again. They have been able to penetrate some of my defenses, they are now delving deeper into my mind than most. They see me for who I am. Even parts that I cannot see myself. I like this new feed of information. For above all, information is power. Perhaps they can lead me down the right path in my mind, the one that leads to discovery.

These new players make me excited for what is to come. Yet an old friend still haunts my dreams. If I cannot get out of the past, will I ever be able to see my future? And what of Jay? I am growing impatient of waiting for Jay to find himself again and to finally like me back. Maybe I should look for someone else, more reliable. Can Evan and Jack fill that empty space in my heart? They are what I'm looking for, but only Time, in the end, will solve this dilemma.