It's been some time since I've written. Homework is stacking up and now that the cold is gone, I also have to do some yard work. I feel like I can never have a moment to just relax. There are huge shadows under my eyes from sleep deprivation, but I can't catch up on my sleep. I just have too much to do and some of my work carries into the night. I hold on to the slight ray of hope that lights my future. In just 3 weeks, I'll have a little more breathing room and some freetime to do whatever I want. Less work, more sleep, and maybe some videogames with my crazy brothers.
Now that it's finally warm outside, I feel the need to be out there constantly. Biking and running are some of my favorite past-times and I just don't have the time to do either. For once in my life, I'm thankful to go outside during the weekends to do yardwork. It's hard work, but at least I get to be inside and not trapped in my room, staring out at the barren trees and dead plants. Outside has become even more of a haven and a quiet corner just to relax and catch up on my assignments. I thank Mother Nature for her generosity and I pray that she'll continue to be kind for the coming days.
Even with all the tests coming up and the overload of work, I just do not feel stressed. How can I when it's so beautiful out and I feel like everything's going right? If you ever have had one of those days, you know exactly what I mean. It's like holding a delicious icecream cone in your hand for each waking minute of your day. Mmmm.....
I look outside the window every morning now and as I stand there in awe, one might hear me say, "Don't worry, I'll be out there soon. You don't need to wait long, trees. Just a few more weeks." I believe each word and hold myself true to my word. If I'm not out there soon, I'll scream. And for anyone who knows me, screaming would be an accomplishment. Just keep being patient Sky.... you'll pull through. You always do.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Day 11- Girls to Guys
School's almost over. Just need to hang on these last few weeks and get through finals. Think I can do it? Stress is piling up, but a sense of relaxation and distraction keeps coming over me. I can't concentrate on work with such good weather outside. It already feels like summer... However, I need to get back into the swing of things.
We also had prom recently. It was a big day for me. My date was... guess who? Jack! It was a very pleasant day and Jack made the whole thing super fun for me. We are now really good friends and I'm keeping him in mind as a future life partner. Plus he's taller than me which is really a big accomplishment. One appreciates a guy who can sweep her off her feet, literally. He is just the right amount of funny and serious and understands just what we girls like.
For future reference guys, I've compiled a list of do's when it comes to treating girls:
1. PLAN!! We enjoy spending time with you guys, but we expect you to make the first move. Sorry, it's just a traditional thing and you're gonna have to get used to it. Ask us out on dates or just to hang out at your place. We don't mind where or when or what we do so long as we are doing it with you.
2. Talk. I know we girls are known far and wide for our ability to talk, but we'd appreciate it if you carry the conversation sometimes. Even our unsatiable voice-boxes can get tired and yes, our ingenious minds can run out of things to say. Start with simple questions about us or to make it even easier on you, just answer our questions, but not with one word answers. Tell us a story or ramble. We certainly won't mind and we want to get to know you better.
3. Be considerate of our needs. I know this one may be tricky, but girls don't always want to kiss all the time or go on more formal dates. We have the most fun when we're doing some of our favorite hobbies or running around and laughing our heads off, basically what we normally do everyday. Do something that you would normally do with your sister (besides teasing). Maybe she even likes sports or videogames, but again make sure we're doing something that we're comfortable with. Yes, we girls will do many things to please you because we are that amazing, but if you really like her, you'll do many things to please her.
4. Don't show off. Usually it just embarrasses you. It works better if you just be yourself. Still try to impress her of course. We can get bored pretty easily with the same person everyday. Vary it up and do't be afraid to express your opinions, unless she really happens to hate your oppinion.
5. Be a gentleman. Walk us to our door. Hold a door open for us. Pull out our chair for us. Offer to take our jacket. Don't assume we know where to go or what to do with our stuff. Although most girls prefer to do things on their own. A little help here and there is appreciated. Of course above all, NEVER assume that we girls are weak. Often, we are far stronger than we appear. It is better to have a mutual relationship than a controlling one and you are not the boss in the relationship. Work together, be best friends, and be willing to listen and support her, even if she complains a little excessively.
Thanks for all you do guys. I still feel like we girls have it tougher than you, but we appreciate you making our lives easier. Keep smiling!
We also had prom recently. It was a big day for me. My date was... guess who? Jack! It was a very pleasant day and Jack made the whole thing super fun for me. We are now really good friends and I'm keeping him in mind as a future life partner. Plus he's taller than me which is really a big accomplishment. One appreciates a guy who can sweep her off her feet, literally. He is just the right amount of funny and serious and understands just what we girls like.
For future reference guys, I've compiled a list of do's when it comes to treating girls:
1. PLAN!! We enjoy spending time with you guys, but we expect you to make the first move. Sorry, it's just a traditional thing and you're gonna have to get used to it. Ask us out on dates or just to hang out at your place. We don't mind where or when or what we do so long as we are doing it with you.
2. Talk. I know we girls are known far and wide for our ability to talk, but we'd appreciate it if you carry the conversation sometimes. Even our unsatiable voice-boxes can get tired and yes, our ingenious minds can run out of things to say. Start with simple questions about us or to make it even easier on you, just answer our questions, but not with one word answers. Tell us a story or ramble. We certainly won't mind and we want to get to know you better.
3. Be considerate of our needs. I know this one may be tricky, but girls don't always want to kiss all the time or go on more formal dates. We have the most fun when we're doing some of our favorite hobbies or running around and laughing our heads off, basically what we normally do everyday. Do something that you would normally do with your sister (besides teasing). Maybe she even likes sports or videogames, but again make sure we're doing something that we're comfortable with. Yes, we girls will do many things to please you because we are that amazing, but if you really like her, you'll do many things to please her.
4. Don't show off. Usually it just embarrasses you. It works better if you just be yourself. Still try to impress her of course. We can get bored pretty easily with the same person everyday. Vary it up and do't be afraid to express your opinions, unless she really happens to hate your oppinion.
5. Be a gentleman. Walk us to our door. Hold a door open for us. Pull out our chair for us. Offer to take our jacket. Don't assume we know where to go or what to do with our stuff. Although most girls prefer to do things on their own. A little help here and there is appreciated. Of course above all, NEVER assume that we girls are weak. Often, we are far stronger than we appear. It is better to have a mutual relationship than a controlling one and you are not the boss in the relationship. Work together, be best friends, and be willing to listen and support her, even if she complains a little excessively.
Thanks for all you do guys. I still feel like we girls have it tougher than you, but we appreciate you making our lives easier. Keep smiling!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Day 10- What Goes Around, Comes Around
Easter was beautiful. As usual, Easter is a big holiday in my family and gifts were exchanged kind of like a second Christmas. I'm not much of a greedy person, but even if I was, I would've gotten everything I have ever wanted, minus a car. Those are expensive, obviously. However, I got some sweet electronic add-ons and giftcards galore. I have everything I've ever wanted (I've never really wanted a lot) so what now? I see what they mean when they say the richest man on earth can't be happy. I guess sharing my material wealth with others and spreading my love is the best course of action. The more you give, the more you get.
I suppose there is one thing I could want besides a car. Yep, you can guess what it is. A boyfriend. I know, cheesy. But almost every girl on the planet knows how hard it is to get a boy that is perfect. Unfortunately, I've not met anyone that lives up to my high standards. Jay comes pretty close, but I promised myself I wouldn't go back down that path until I've explored more options. We'll see how the "love life" turns out.
Now I'm back in school after the weekend. The school halls are crowded and noisy compared to my more secluded house. My favorite spot to do homework is still outside in the sun, in my backyard. It's the most peaceful and rejuvinating spot I've ever encountered. Listening to the breeze lightly rustle through the grass and leaves of the shady trees... it's music. And now that the sun has finally decided to show its face after the colder days of last month, I'm taking full advantage of the heat, maybe get some color back into my way too pale skin.
I've got new clothes, a new haircut, and a new style altogether. It makes me feel like I'm no longer a hermit living under a rock for decades. I'm back into the new styles and even now, I'm attracting a few more respectful glances from boys and girls alike. Sky's out to compete!
Still, despite all the new, new, new, it feels old and monotonous. I suppose that just means that my big life moment hasn't happened yet. When it does, I imagine it will be incredible, I'll be unstoppable, and no day will ever be the same again. It will be fun and important, just like my childhood fantasies of being president or flying. It will be momentous and spectacular. And hey, might as well share a bit of my time with others as well. All a day in the life of Sky.
I suppose there is one thing I could want besides a car. Yep, you can guess what it is. A boyfriend. I know, cheesy. But almost every girl on the planet knows how hard it is to get a boy that is perfect. Unfortunately, I've not met anyone that lives up to my high standards. Jay comes pretty close, but I promised myself I wouldn't go back down that path until I've explored more options. We'll see how the "love life" turns out.
Now I'm back in school after the weekend. The school halls are crowded and noisy compared to my more secluded house. My favorite spot to do homework is still outside in the sun, in my backyard. It's the most peaceful and rejuvinating spot I've ever encountered. Listening to the breeze lightly rustle through the grass and leaves of the shady trees... it's music. And now that the sun has finally decided to show its face after the colder days of last month, I'm taking full advantage of the heat, maybe get some color back into my way too pale skin.
I've got new clothes, a new haircut, and a new style altogether. It makes me feel like I'm no longer a hermit living under a rock for decades. I'm back into the new styles and even now, I'm attracting a few more respectful glances from boys and girls alike. Sky's out to compete!
Still, despite all the new, new, new, it feels old and monotonous. I suppose that just means that my big life moment hasn't happened yet. When it does, I imagine it will be incredible, I'll be unstoppable, and no day will ever be the same again. It will be fun and important, just like my childhood fantasies of being president or flying. It will be momentous and spectacular. And hey, might as well share a bit of my time with others as well. All a day in the life of Sky.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Day 9- Never Forget
I took a glance out my window this morning only to find a fresh new layer of snow. It's a harsh reminder that Nature's got other plans than to let the sun shine forever. I normally love the snow, but this late in the year is just riduculous. It's unfortunate that you can't wish away the snow with willpower. If we could, I would've cleared the snow hours ago.
It reminds me of the dreams I had last night. It's been a long time since I've had such vivid dreams. I used to have them all the time. I guess I stopped having them after I became obsessed with Jay. When everyday life is like a dream, your mind thinks you don't need any at night. Now that the daydreams are gone, the night ones can come back. I can't say I'm terribly thrilled to be rid of my daydreams, but I'm still quite eager for the night dreams because they allow me to escape the dreariness and monotony of the real world. It's a wonderful experience to exist in a completely different world in which you are the master. I like the feel of the power since life in the day is out of control.
I've got work piling on. Not just physically, but the mental stress is also piling up. I'm going to spend the next few days squeezing in as much time to work as possible. It's really too bad I don't have many more distractions left. That just leaves me with one option: do my work. It's an option I've been jumping through hoops to avoid. Now that it's staring me right in the face, all I can do is sigh and get to work.
Maybe as a result of seeing the snow, I've been experiencing some flashbacks. Stuff that I thought was long forgotten is now flashing back, more bittersweet and permanent than before. Though it hurts to remind myself of the mistakes I've made, I have a feeling these flashbacks will be very beneficial in the next few days. Perhaps they'll keep me from making any more mind boggling mess-ups.
Among those memories stands a very clear and sharp reminder, the recent passing of a dearly loved family member. I feel sad, but I also remember all the happiness we had together. I stand a living witness of how fragile life is. We must live each day to it's full potential and squeeze out each special moment so that when we pass on, we have no regrets, only peace. Never forget how special each moment is and cherish it close to your heart.
It reminds me of the dreams I had last night. It's been a long time since I've had such vivid dreams. I used to have them all the time. I guess I stopped having them after I became obsessed with Jay. When everyday life is like a dream, your mind thinks you don't need any at night. Now that the daydreams are gone, the night ones can come back. I can't say I'm terribly thrilled to be rid of my daydreams, but I'm still quite eager for the night dreams because they allow me to escape the dreariness and monotony of the real world. It's a wonderful experience to exist in a completely different world in which you are the master. I like the feel of the power since life in the day is out of control.
I've got work piling on. Not just physically, but the mental stress is also piling up. I'm going to spend the next few days squeezing in as much time to work as possible. It's really too bad I don't have many more distractions left. That just leaves me with one option: do my work. It's an option I've been jumping through hoops to avoid. Now that it's staring me right in the face, all I can do is sigh and get to work.
Maybe as a result of seeing the snow, I've been experiencing some flashbacks. Stuff that I thought was long forgotten is now flashing back, more bittersweet and permanent than before. Though it hurts to remind myself of the mistakes I've made, I have a feeling these flashbacks will be very beneficial in the next few days. Perhaps they'll keep me from making any more mind boggling mess-ups.
Among those memories stands a very clear and sharp reminder, the recent passing of a dearly loved family member. I feel sad, but I also remember all the happiness we had together. I stand a living witness of how fragile life is. We must live each day to it's full potential and squeeze out each special moment so that when we pass on, we have no regrets, only peace. Never forget how special each moment is and cherish it close to your heart.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Day8- Sky's the Limit
You know when you get that sudden source of inspiration? You sort of feel like you can fly if you want to. You feel like you can be or do anything you want to. The sky's the limit. The tricky part is keeping that inspiration fresh on your mind so you can carry it into anything you might find yourself doing each day. Lucky for me, my inspiration is music, singing, dancing, any of that.
Today I witnessed a wonderful, truly inspirational performance by some unknown singers. They're all young, inexperienced, and incredibly talented. Seeing those young people succeed really inspires me to do great things. I felt so pumped and energetic right after the show. I could've touched the stars!
Tomorrow I'm going to make good use of my readily available inspiration. Just plug in my iPod and we'll see where it takes me. Perhaps I could be productive and get all of my work done. Or not. Maybe I'll just be hyper outside or work on my flexibility. Or maybe I'll pursue my dream of becoming a professional writer or singer. Oh to be given a job like that! I'd be happy to quit school if I were presented with such an opportunity.
It's nice to know where I find this inspiration. Not just music, but reading and watching movies often gives me ideas. Or just sitting outside in the sun, listening to the breeze lightly ruffle through the grass. Nature is a wonderful inspiration as countless artists have discovered before my time. It's nice to know nature can give me the same feelings of calm and serenity.
I finally feel free to do what I want. I still have many obligations I must attend to each day, but it's great to have a little breathing room here and there in which I can develop my talents. I plan on taking full advantage of that in the morning. Although I am incredibly saddened still by my loss of Jay, my little hobbies are helping to distract me. I'm quite proud to be able to say that I've gone through this whole ordeal without shedding a tear. It just shows how quickly I can recover and how strong I really am. This is why I believe that only in times of trouble can we see what a person is really worth.
Today I witnessed a wonderful, truly inspirational performance by some unknown singers. They're all young, inexperienced, and incredibly talented. Seeing those young people succeed really inspires me to do great things. I felt so pumped and energetic right after the show. I could've touched the stars!
Tomorrow I'm going to make good use of my readily available inspiration. Just plug in my iPod and we'll see where it takes me. Perhaps I could be productive and get all of my work done. Or not. Maybe I'll just be hyper outside or work on my flexibility. Or maybe I'll pursue my dream of becoming a professional writer or singer. Oh to be given a job like that! I'd be happy to quit school if I were presented with such an opportunity.
It's nice to know where I find this inspiration. Not just music, but reading and watching movies often gives me ideas. Or just sitting outside in the sun, listening to the breeze lightly ruffle through the grass. Nature is a wonderful inspiration as countless artists have discovered before my time. It's nice to know nature can give me the same feelings of calm and serenity.
I finally feel free to do what I want. I still have many obligations I must attend to each day, but it's great to have a little breathing room here and there in which I can develop my talents. I plan on taking full advantage of that in the morning. Although I am incredibly saddened still by my loss of Jay, my little hobbies are helping to distract me. I'm quite proud to be able to say that I've gone through this whole ordeal without shedding a tear. It just shows how quickly I can recover and how strong I really am. This is why I believe that only in times of trouble can we see what a person is really worth.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Day 7- Sky Blue Chapter
It's the ending of an era and the dawning of the new. I can't say I'm happy to enter this next part of my life. It's good to move on to a new chapter. It will bring more good, more surprises and adventures. I will cry my tears tonight and brave a smile tomorrow. The world will right itself.
Yes it means I've finally set Jay free. Not that he knew he was ever captured. It's just my imagining. He was mine in my own head and now I will let him move on to any other life he may choose. But of course I will always remain his best friend. Not even a new chapter in my life can change that. I will always love him, but in a different way now.
When I was little, I thought that I was special. That maybe I had a super power like flying or reading minds. I thought I would have a very unique and wonderful future like maybe becomming the president. Now that I am older, I realize that's probably not the case, but I haven't given up on making my future amazing and awesome. Maybe I won't get a miracle, but I can certainly work hard to make it good myself.
I will find that perfect boy, that one I'll be willing to spend my life with. I just have to work to make it so. Who knows? Maybe it will be Even or Jack or Jacoby. Maybe it will be Jay. Maybe it will be someone far better than I deserve. The future holds marvelous surprises. I will trust this and wait for what the future has in store for me.
True, this new chapter promises to be glorious. Still I can't keep my past out of mind. I will try to concentrate on this new world in which I spend more time with Jacoby and Evan. A world in which I buy wonderful dresses and try new and wonderous things. It gives me joy that I can bring my old experiences into this next part of my life. Maybe I will find my happily ever after, after all.
Yes it means I've finally set Jay free. Not that he knew he was ever captured. It's just my imagining. He was mine in my own head and now I will let him move on to any other life he may choose. But of course I will always remain his best friend. Not even a new chapter in my life can change that. I will always love him, but in a different way now.
When I was little, I thought that I was special. That maybe I had a super power like flying or reading minds. I thought I would have a very unique and wonderful future like maybe becomming the president. Now that I am older, I realize that's probably not the case, but I haven't given up on making my future amazing and awesome. Maybe I won't get a miracle, but I can certainly work hard to make it good myself.
I will find that perfect boy, that one I'll be willing to spend my life with. I just have to work to make it so. Who knows? Maybe it will be Even or Jack or Jacoby. Maybe it will be Jay. Maybe it will be someone far better than I deserve. The future holds marvelous surprises. I will trust this and wait for what the future has in store for me.
True, this new chapter promises to be glorious. Still I can't keep my past out of mind. I will try to concentrate on this new world in which I spend more time with Jacoby and Evan. A world in which I buy wonderful dresses and try new and wonderous things. It gives me joy that I can bring my old experiences into this next part of my life. Maybe I will find my happily ever after, after all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)